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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane? I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads.... CORNY JOKES THREAD! OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!"

Next Joke
 
"Grilled some hotdogs and offered my friend one He said, ""No thanks, I'm Jewish."" I said, ""Don't worry, they're free."""
"On dates, if a man says the past tense of ""see"" as ""I seen"" instead of ""I saw,"" I go to the bathroom and climb out the window."
"Limits Of Technology A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."
"I'M POOPING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PUKING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PEEING MY PANTS I REALLY DONT WANT THESE PANTS ANYMORE."
"Ever been to a Canadian mosh pit? ""Oh sorry eh! Oh! Sorry! Sorry, eh? Sorry? So sorry! Oh! Oh no.... Sorry, eh?"""
"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"
"A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it... He put his Monet where his mouth is."
"When I see starving children in 3rd world countries, I get so sad knowing there's no way they'll ever be able to retweet me."
"What do tofu and dildos have in common? They serve as makeshift substitutes for people who have forsaken meat."