48703

Joke of the Day

"When I see starving children in 3rd world countries, I get so sad knowing there's no way they'll ever be able to retweet me."

"Your mother ...is so big that when she was born the doctor broke a bottle of champagne over her head."

"Wow, I thought ""flash mob"" meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?"

"""Everybody freeze!"" -November"

"If I've learnt anything from Zombie movies it's that people meat is pretty damn stringy."

"Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow."

"Pickup line Hey there, wanna come over and watch porn on my 50 inch flat-screen mirror?"

"I don't discriminate among size guys. Personally my favorite is 3 inches and goes by the name visa, mc, or amex."

"There are two rules for success: 1. never tell everything you know."

"How does a skeleton solve a problem? With the bare-bones approach."