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Joke of the Day

"Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds."

"He whispered in my ear that he liked being called daddy. I whispered back that I liked being called a cab."

"I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be ""saved"" or ""I'll burn""... Stupid firefighters."

"I was going to tell the joke about the scarecrow... but I think it has already been posted."

"What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home? The shadow of his former shelf."

"Do they have a pregnancy test for immaculate conceptions?"

"What do you call a bunch of potheads working together? A joint effort!"

"How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now"

"ROOMMATE: Big date later? ME: [combs hair] Yes R: Where? M: [fixes tie] The woods R: Is it with a bear again? M: [dabs honey behind ears] No"

"What do you call dinosaur sluts? Herpevores"