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Joke of the Day
"I used to know a guy who had five legs. His pants fitted him like a glove."
Next Joke
"Every time I have sex with a woman I always assume she has herpes... ...that way I don't have to tell her about mine."
"*logs into Facebook *looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends *comments 'is that your dad' on all of them *logs out of Facebook"
"Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment."
"What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting."
"Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"LPT: How to get out of murder/manslaughter charges. Become a police officer."
"I bet the hardest thing about being a gangsta rapper is never being able to really enjoy a scone in public."
"My brain hurts. That means it's getting stronger. Right?"
"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes."