29

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting."

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."

"Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say ""You haven't seen The Wire?"" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying."

"Circumcision and Manners Why did they used to circumcise the penis? Because in the good old days, you took off your hat when you were in the presence of a lady."

"Q: What did the cow say to the masked robber? A: Moo."

"I also like my coffee like i like my slaves. Hand-picked from a third world country. ...I'll show myself out."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"I was hit on the head by a soda can once But luckily it was a soft drink!"

"[typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim"

"What do you call a clown eating a mushroom? Jeff"