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Joke of the Day

"A driver gets pulled over for improper use of a carpool lane.. Cop: ""Carpool lane is 2 or more passengers and I don't see your second passenger."" Driver: ""well I'm just beside myself."""

"As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions."

"All i'm saying is, before Back to the Future 3, he was fine."

"What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage bag? A dead baby in two garbage bags."

"Most people think it is perfectly okay to recharge a battery. I think it's revolting."

"What happens when you combine alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird"

"One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge."

"Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common? They were both inside a whale."

"Why were the bakers hands brown? Because he was kneading a shite"

"I bet Nutritionist-Dieticians instagram the food pyramid a lot"