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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Muslims fight each other often? Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now"

"Shaq just described himself as a geek. The word has officially lost all meaning,"

"Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout."

"At my new job I have 500 people under me. I work on the 98th floor."

"I don't WANT new people to get murdered but I want Investigation Discovery to always have new material."

"I have insomnia. I have insomnia My doctor says it's very common and that I shouldn't lose any sleep over it."

"I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem."

"How is American beer comparable to having sex on a boat? It's fucking close to water."

"(No spoilers) What did Daredevil say after begrudgingly agreeing with The Punisher's brutally honest opinion that he's just a half-measure? ""You're such a Frank Castle."""

"I don't get Trump's hate on Mexicans... ... They'll chant ""You, ese!"" just as well as any other person in this country!"