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Joke of the Day

"I got fired today from my summer job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way"

"I saw the army of Lichtenstein the other day. He was a really nice guy."

"Girl are you a dishwasher? Because I would like to fill you with my dirty load in the evening, turn you on, and fall asleep before you finish"

"What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with? A TACK"

"I hadn't heard any news about George Michael for nearly a year... And then Wham! Last Christmas."

"Turned off autocorrect and I've never been happyer."

"If I had a dollar for every time a woman find me attractive... I'd have a dollar, thanks mom"

"Rape Some say rape isn't funny. Anything can be funny in the right context. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. - George Carlin"

"Say what you will about pedophiles but... They always support orphans, the always drive slow in school zones, they always donate to schools, they always help with homework."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair, and a table."