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Joke of the Day

"""Whats the deal with all this airline food?"" -Sharks in Malaysia"

"The Alzheimer Society of Ireland is commemorating 30 years this year... ...or is it 40?"

"Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?"

"Your momma's so fat That when she goes to church people say: Holy Cow!"

"What's the most awkward U.S state? O....Hi!.....o....."

"Best pick up line I've ever heard Would you mind holding my beer while I go take a shit? ....If she is still standing there. She's a keeper!"

"After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it ""the house"".."

"What does a Necrophiliac have when he is turned on? Mourning Wood"

"Yeah, he jumped from 128,000 feet, but I fixed the shower today with a 4yo asking what i was doing 128,000 times.... Lets call it tie, ok?"

"What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night? A landmine."