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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by messing up my wife's Subway order. Whoops, wrong sub."

"My wife just dropped her keys & said ""What's WRONG with me?"" & I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!"

"judas: i would never betray jesus he's the best jesus: my favorite movie is the Minions Movie judas: i am going to betray the son of God"

"Tooth sale Two buck teeth for 1$ buck"

"Sometimes it looks like I'm flashing gang signs, but really I'm just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand."

"I thought I kept all my David Fincher DVDs safely, but... I lost The Game."

"What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died? Looks like his Korea is over."

"You're 16 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 3 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating crayons."

"Why Doesn't Donald Trump Buy Toilet Paper? Because he has some toilet-toupee."