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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls on your wife, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? The real question is... why the hell was there a tree in your kitchen?"

"There should be a trap door at the front of the line for coffee that opens into a pit of fire if you take too long to order."

"What did the woman say while she was having a baby? ""This could use some salt."""

"Worst things about mid 40's: 1. Catching a view of yourself naked in the mirror. 2. Crying too hard to complete this list."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint"

"Batman doesn't kill. Wayne Enterprises is a defense contractor. Guy is conflicted about the wrong things."

"3 Chinese mens Name Chu,Bu and Fu went to America illegally They decided to change their names to sound American Chu change his name to Chuck,Bu change his name to Buck and Fu got sent back to China"

"My wife worships me She puts burnt offerings in front of me everyday"

"three gay guys are in a hot tub [NSFW] when a big blob of semen floats to the surface. one guy says while looking at the other 2 ""ok, who farted?"""

"""Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever."""