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Joke of the Day

"SIRI: Brian, what goes ""blah blah blah, I don't know anything, please help me""? ME: Uhh SIRI: It's you. That's what you sound like."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, maan!"

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries."

"Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend."

"Toilet paper and my iPhone have a lot in common... both are essential when I take a s$it."

"What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage? ""You should work on your delivery""."

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes? Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline."

"What's the fat person's favourite football club? KFC."