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Joke of the Day

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere."

"What do people with huge penises eat for breakfast? Well, I had toast. EDIT: me and /u/Nekovivie weren't expecting you to know. cuz^you^have^a^small^dick"

"I'm AMAZED by mythology. I'll tell you about my favorite tales... if you have a minotaur two. (amazed... get it?)"

"[HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: ""A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket."" WIFE: ""What?"" DR: ""Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."""

"When you're as good at levitation as I am... It's hard to keep your feet on the ground."

"Are you cold? Come sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees."

"I lost fifty pounds... Unfortunately, I was in England at the time."

"Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He bombed on stage."

"Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out"