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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a rude criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
Next Joke
"I just got a new job at a prison library. It has its prose and cons."
"What kind of rodent DDOS attacks Al Queda's Twitter account? An anonimouse"
"[Meeting girlfriend's parents] Me: Well Mrs. Ashford, I can see where Elle gets her good looks! <Mr. Ashford sulks the rest of dinner>"
"Do you want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.."
"Q: What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick? A: Put it on my bill."
"Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"
"Riding with Uber earlier.. The driver said, ""I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn Left."
"Government confiscated all the syrup from a syrup factory. Owner of the factory says, ""Why do you need all this syrup?"" The government worker says: ""That's mollasified."""
"How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry? ""It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!"""