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Joke of the Day

"[Meeting girlfriend's parents] Me: Well Mrs. Ashford, I can see where Elle gets her good looks! <Mr. Ashford sulks the rest of dinner>"

"my book club evolved into a fight club so gradually I almost didn't notice"

"Why is Christopher Walken so tired? Because at night, he's always sleepwalken"

"What's the worst thing about Jonestown jokes? The punch line."

"I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra. Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?"

"To make small talk interesting, stare inquisitively at one spot on the person's face until they self-consciously touch it."

"[Request] Best One liners I just want to hear some of the best..."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be on the boat!"

"How to tell if she's odd... ...she can't even."

"I think my neighbor is stalking me... I saw her googling my name through my telescope."