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Joke of the Day

"I walked past a drug rehab facility today. There was a sign on the front lawn that read ""KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women.. Without a penis"

"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice while on vacation. My gondolences."

"What does a man with a 9 inch penis eat for breakfast? Well, Right now I'm frying up some eggs, got some toast in the toaster and the coffees brewing."

"Why did the T-Rex get kicked outta the porn shoot? Because he had a reptile dysfunction"

"Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy? Because the Mummy's always saying, ""I'll be in the crypt tonight."""

"Why are black people unable to get a PhD? Because they can't get past their masters."

"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."

"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"

"Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up. And throw them."