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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a plumb in a frock? A damson in this dress."

"A drug dealer sold me his shoes today I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day"

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"

"I think my iPhone is broken I keep pressing the home button but I am still at work"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"9/11 knock knock *Knock Knock.* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *You said you'd never forget.*"

"I just invented a new word. Plagiarism"

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."

"I went to the shop to buy 6 cans of coke. But when I got home, I realised I'd picked 7 Up."

"Why is Reddit tired of the broken arms joke? Because it appears in every mother fucking thread"