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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the the horse that got shot? He's in stable condition."

"I have a diabetic racist uncle who doesn't get on with milk. He lacks toes and tolerance."

"A man walks into a bar... He asks the barman ""do you serve women here?"" The barman replies ""no, sorry, you'll have to bring your own."""

"TIL that semantics is a contraction of ""Semite Antics"" That's not true, I made that up just now. You are a racist."

"Why was the juice company losing customers? There was no punch-line."

"A fake ID that says you're only 14 so you can get cheaper buffets"

"My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta... Yuk yuk yuk"

"Michael, the kid with no hands What did Michael get for his birthday? Gloves ... Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet Knock, knock Who is it? Not Michael"

"""Eat the booty like groceries"" -Albert Einstein"

"I bet kangaroos get tired of holding all of their friend's keys and cell phones while they're at the beach."