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Joke of the Day

"Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public... I guess she wanted it to be more Loki."

"What does an LGBT orthodontist make most of his money off of ? bruces"

"A mother publicly argued with his son... ...Somewhere along the lines, the mother yelled to his son: ""You motherfucker!"" The first thought that came to my mind was ""Wow, that's a Lil TMI for me"""

"Bird Seeds 1. Go to the pet store 2. Buy Bird seeds 3. Ask the cashier how long it will take for the birds to grow 4. ??? 5. Profit"

"*touches a turtel* *dies* *touches a plant* *dies* wow mario are u allergic to evreything or wat"

"I'm on a whiskey diet I've lost 3 days already."

"So my doctor told me I need to stop eating so much... But I don't think I can just quit eating cold turkey."

"My wife just asked me why she came home to find marinara sauce all over our sleeping baby's head. Sorry babe, I'M NOT A DETECTIVE."

"My neighbour is pissed. My recycle bin has missing for months so I've been using hers. My boyfriend is missing too. Same situation."

"What's the difference between Karate and Judo? Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels."