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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour is pissed. My recycle bin has missing for months so I've been using hers. My boyfriend is missing too. Same situation."

"What do you call a ship that drives itself? Auto-pirate."

"My first time doing standup was a lot like my first time having sex. I finished way too early and when it was over I couldn't stop apologizing."

"What is the speed limit of sex? 68, because at 69 you have to turn around."

"What did the chicken say ? What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it."

"I can't wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory."

"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away..."

"Discipline in the Home by Wilma Child-Begood"

"I was going to make a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen but NaH"

"An incredible phenomenon of life A pepperoni of radius 'z' and height 'a' has a volume of pizza"