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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."

"I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers."

"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."

"Ladies, if you ever need to fend off an attacker, just start talking about what's been going on in your life."

"I was told I couldn't change religion because I wasn't circumcised .. Guess I'm just not cut out to be a Jew."

"Two muffins are in an oven The first one turns to the other and says: ""It sure is getting hot in here"". To which the second muffin replies: ""Holy Crap! A talking muffin!"""

"Have you ever try ethiopan food ? Neither have they .."

"A Roman guy walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please"""

"Balloons are stupid. ""Happy birthday! Here's a buncha sacks of breath."""

"All the gingers I know have pretty good morals... I guess you can't really sell your soul to the devil when you don't have one to begin with."