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Joke of the Day

"The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes"

"I should do my own TV series........... Man vs Drink"

"So they're making a documentary on Canadian wildlife. I hear it's going to be a mooseterpiece."

"If I have to pay to use this bathroom, I'm going to lose my shit. Because I'm broke."

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero."

"A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!"

"How does a sociopath say goodbye? Manip-ya-later!"

"What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game."

"Who did the pirate lose his virginity to? His first mate."