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Joke of the Day

"If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns... Always go for the juggler. . . . Credit: /u/CartoonsAreForKids"

"They won't give me insurance on my phones anymore, but yet they don't make phones that survive being thrown against walls? It's nonsense..."

"My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her. She bought me eye drops."

"Did you hear about the DJ who bought a cheap pair of photochromic lenses? He had shitty transitions."

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"I may be schizophrenic But at least I have each other"

"I've got a ""bun"" (baby) in the ""oven"" (oven)!"

"Oh ..your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?:-)"

"Did you know? Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as ""The Sims."""

"The first gay wedding will be taking place in Ireland next week The men's names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."