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Joke of the Day
"I told my dog to sit . . . . . . but he half-assed it."
Next Joke
"Last day of school for my kids. For the next ten weeks, I can stop pretending math is important."
"When is the best time to buy budgies ? When they're going cheap !"
"Wordpress is shutting down? http://www.everydayfails.com/articles/wordpress-is-shutting-down/"
"I can turn a case of beer into a drunk man. Your move, Jesus."
"I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though."
"""Hey bro shotgun this beer"" No I don't drink ""You wanna be cool don't you?"" I don't drink ""C'mon NERD!"" Grandma PLEASE stop"
"Say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they don't speed in school zones."
"Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3? He was blowing off Steam"
"Instead of smoking cigarettes, switch to hanging just outside an establishment, casually repeating that you want to die."