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Joke of the Day

"I dressed up as an enema for Halloween It really scares the crap out of people."

"Narrator: ""Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution"" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]"

"Sex to a man is like hunger. If he can't get into an expensive French restaurant, he will go to McDonalds."

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You don't look like you could take a joke."

"Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon but they left after a few minutes ? You see it had no atmosphere !"

"Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die? He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ? Burglars don't knock !"

"Where is the most open green space in New York City? Central Pork"

"An Elvis impersonator had to cancel a show because he got some terrible family news. He was all shook up"