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Joke of the Day

"Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America."

"My wife says I've left the toilet seat up ""like a bajillion times"" but I'm contacting Jill Stein to demand a recount."

"I lost 25 pounds. Just want to say I lost 25 pounds and I'm proud of myself. The last time I was betting on horses I lost 100,-."

"People talk about the environment like the Earth's in danger. Don't worry about Earth. Earth was a ball of magma once. Worry about us."

"Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to ""work that poll""."

"Great news for the Texas Rangers baseball players Now that Ron Washington is no longer the manager, they are putting coke back in the vending machines"

"Why is there no scope for dealers/middle men in the field of extractive metallurgy? Because he/she who smelt it, dealt it."

"Ever see a bottle of TUMS in the mirror? You'll run out of windex..."

"Did you know Hitler's father was a cobbler? He made Jews."

"My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ... It runs in my jeans."