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Joke of the Day
"Difference between your wife and the economy? 5 years later, the economy will still suck."
Next Joke
"Did you guys hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? He turned out to be a seasoned veteran."
"If there was a hooker named Barbie ... And she was really good at her job, would the line outside her apartment be called the Barbie queue? Edit: spelling"
"What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital? When you ask the patients ""what's the problem?"" They'll say ""nothing"""
"I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg..."
"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip!"
"Son, you can't give me any shit about having to teach me phone or computer skills... ...after all, I taught you how to use a spoon. Props to my old man for that one."
"A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work."
"Where are new Starcraft players born? In the noobula"
"If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER"