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Joke of the Day

"Adulthood is where you get excited over a new trash can. *blank stare*"

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"My favorite extreme sport is riding the passenger seat while my wife drives"
"I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first."
"Whenever a fast food employee reads my order back to me I always say, ""did you just call me fat?"" They love that."
"ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Noel."
"William joined the army... He rather disliked the phrase ""fire at will."""
"Someone stole my mood ring.. And I don't know how I feel about that Credits to 30 Rock"
"Why did the black guy cross the road? He wanted some chicken!"
"Why did the student fail his physics test? He didn't understand the gravity of the situation."
"How many /r/jokes reposts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently a lot, because that lightbulb still isn't screwed in."