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Joke of the Day

"Paul Walker took up Zen Buddism not long before his death. . . He became one with a tree."

"Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew? Because one more, and it'd be too farty."

"What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo..."

"I just completed a one month long diet... And all I lost was 30 days."

"Acquaintances: ""So what have you been up to?"" What I hear: ""Please explain yourself, we're trying to figure you out."""

"Why was number 6 scared of number 7? Because 7 8 9!"

"Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock? It was a no cows eviction."

"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermid, it's too long."

"I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it."

"""I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife."""