118647

Joke of the Day

"Some people wake up in the morning & are all like ""omg I'm the luckiest person in the world"" and I wake up all like ""oh my god"""

"Friends only its Dogs but instead of claps in the theme song, barks"

"[Pickup Line] Do you hold up the KDE desktop environment? Because you're a QT!"

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey But then I turned myself around. So that's what it's all about."

"My wife said I should compliment her features more often... ... So I slashed her face."

"*illegally downloads a social life*"

"A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks ""Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"" Papa is surprised and asks ""20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?"""

"If I were to steal an experiment from a microbiology lab... ...would it be cultural appropriation?"

"My girlfriend said that me being a mime was too much, and she was leaving But I couldn't bring myself to say anything"

"*a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun* ""THIS IS A STICK UP"" *everyone laughs* ""GUYS IM SERIOUS"" *more laughter* ""DAMN IT"" *leaves*"