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Joke of the Day

"just hugged a box of sterile gloves because they can never have baby gloves and that's hard to accept."

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."

"What does a boat have in common with a ballsack? They both have a lot of seamen"

"First take an ass and put another ass behind it. Then I come. Then the whole nation comes after me.... That is how you spell assassination"

"Two years ago I became a proud father. My son is 6, but he was kinda lame those first four years."

"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."

"How can you tell when your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up."

"How do you spot a joke without a punchline?"

"Q: Why does the corn get mad at the farmer? A: Because he is always pulling on his ears."

"You know what the worst part is about dating a Japanese girl? If I ever decide to break up with her I will have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message"