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Joke of the Day

"What do Cerial killers drink? milk"

"Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember."

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"Baby, let's configure our hard drives in master and slave position."

"Took my dog to a bonfire... ...and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like an apple. We must get to the core of this!"

"Two blondes were walking in a park ...when one of them said: ""Look, a dead bird!"" The other one looked up in the sky and asked ""where?"""

"Your ""COEXIST"" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"I Asked My Wife If I Could Give Her a Chechnyan Yacht Its where I peel back her undies and stay insider her all day."