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Joke of the Day

"""I thought that too, but I didn't say it out loud, because I'm not a racist."" - a racist"

"We saw a Taliban bukkake film the other night. It was much the same as a normal porn film, except there was a much bigger explosion over her face at the end."

"What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths? Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out."

"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces. My next shit could spell disaster."

"So embarrassing when the door's marked PUSH & you spend 5 minutes shattering all the glass"

"I told my girlfriend I wanted some new pussy. She told me to grow an inch."

"angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend"

"I think I need to take a break. -me, as soon as I get to work."

"(NSFW) A pedophile and a little boy walk into the woods.. The boy says ""it's really dark out here, I'm scared."" The pedophile looks at him and says ""you're scared?! I have to walk back alone!"""

"Did you hear about the baker who always fantasized about being a king? He walked into his bread oven room and said, ""All rise."""