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Joke of the Day

"angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend"

"*grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* ""uhh grandpa who's that?"" ""my hip replacement"""

"What did our parents do to kill time before the internet? I asked my 21 brothers and sisters and they had no clue either."

"A penis lives a hard life His neighbor's nuts, he lives accross from an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, everyone calls him a dick, and his owner beats him."

"Telling my daugthers date that ""she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her."" *Correct way to parent."

"I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving."

"What's the best part about going in without a condom? The abortion."

"Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read."

"Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops? It's counterproductive"

"[1st date] Waiter: Can I get you a drink ma'am ? Me: Wow really bro right in front of me?"