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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach him to fish and you get rid of him during weekends."

"I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don't know anything about cars, but I do know how porn starts off"

"[Wedding] ""...to join these two in holy matrimony. The Ring, please?"" [Maid of Honor pops tape in VCR.] [One week later: everyone dies.]"

"What do you call a fish poop born out of wedlock? A bass-turd"

"Never ask white Americans what their ethnicity is unless you wanna hear a list of every European country and meaningless fractions."

"I farted in a room of hipsters I watched them fight each other over who heard it first."

"Paris Hilton's IMDB page should only be accessible on April 1st."

"You now what's great about fucking twenty five year olds? There's twenty of them."

"Gonna get ""na na na na na na na na"" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme."

"MISSED CONNECTION: You were ""a woman"" & I am ""lonely."""