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Joke of the Day

"please stop adding flintstone chewable vitamin commercials to the episode list. they are not real flintstone episodes."

"I became a father late last night. Reddit, what are your best dad jokes?"

"What do you call a person who looks at a glass half-empty? An Alcoholic."

"What do crossfitters call their trainers? Fairy WOD-mothers."

"Jury remains deadlocked in the case of Good Times v. Bad Times"

"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to tell me. I guess that's why he lost his job in disaster relief."

"Women, you can't live with 'em... And you can't cut their heads off and gang-rape their corpses. Not alone at least. Get your buddies to help."

"I have a confession to make. I've been having sex with my staff. What's worse is I'm self employed!!!! Badaboom!"

"My ass is going through some serious shit right now The reverse is also true"

"[wearing World's Best Dad shirt] Wife: whys there blood on your shirt? Me: its not my blood Guy bleeding out in the yard: its not your shirt"