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Joke of the Day

"How many guys does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you."

"Someone just asked me if I was 'happily' married. Single people are adorable."

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"I'm only racist when I'm driving."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well-hung."

"If I had a Dollar, If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them."

"What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles"

"Neighborhood kids came over for an Easter egg hunt. Apparently hiding the eggs in the clothes I was wearing is somehow against the law?"

"Yo mama so fat... She had a heart attack. Is everything okay, bud?"

"How do you know when it is raining cats and dogs? There are poodles everywhere!"