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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well-hung."

"I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like ""SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????"" and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me"

"Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."

"With so many gay people nowadays... It's hard to keep them all straight."

"The jungle book has been adapted into a live action play But after the show at the Cincinnati zoo all other showings have been cancelled."

"If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office."

"US disasters and tragedies You'd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds... oh wait..."

"Really cool thing about skateboards is you can take the wheels off and bash your skull in if you still use them in your forties."

"What do terrorists say to their sister? H'Isis"

"Hey girl, are you the final scene in the Sopranos? Because"