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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? Owls . . . Owls who? Yes they do"

"I wonder how many old people have died trying to cut open tennis balls to put on their walker."

"I fell into a sewer the other day. It was really shit and draining to get out of."

"What do you get when Hulk holds the American Flag? The Star Spangled Banner!"

"Real men don't run from problems, they fix them. Unless it's really scary"

"What is the world coming too? Porn."

"If Jessica own 400 melons and Jimmy steal 50 of them, how many would be left? About tree fiddy."

"[11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious."

"I tied a rope and swallowed it I shit you knot!"

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."