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Joke of the Day

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."

"[2 monkeys in a bath] Monkey 1: OOOHH OOHH AHH AHHH AHAH!! Monkey 2: If it's too hot Colin, put some cold water in"

"Black people Ash Wednesday doesn't have anything to do with. your dry cracked skin."

"What sound does a subatomic Cow make? Muuuuuuon"

"What do you call a bolshevik in a hurry? A rushin' russian."

"Boo ""Knock Knock!"" ""Who's there?"" ""Boo!"" ""Boo who?"" ""Geez, no need to cry, it's just a joke."""

"Slow and steady wins the race, unless it's one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed."

"What's a pirate's favorite firework? M80"

"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."

"What is black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee."