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Joke of the Day

"I hit a deer last night. It died instantly. I feel awful, but when I'm jogging I'm in my own world."

"Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629"""

"Have you seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he."

"I was having sex with a 90 year old woman yesterday nsfw She stopped suddenly and shouted Quick call me an ambulance! I said, I'll call you whatever you want you kinky bitch."

"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers a mile off."

"A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry"

"Momma always told me that women are like chocolates... The ones with the cherries are better."

"What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized."

"I had an issue with my XBone suddenly breaking & emitting smoke... I wasn't too disappointed that my XBone crashed and burned but I couldn't stand the fact that the smoke was even in low-res"