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Joke of the Day
"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers a mile off."
Next Joke
"Hub: You ready to go? Me: In a minute, I'm beating the kids. [Cut to me just decimating the kids at Mario Kart]"
"Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?"
"Life is like a game of Monopoly: if you're good at it, the rest of your family will hate you"
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore."
"A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stall... and says ""make me one with everything""."
"What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head."
"I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC"
"Jesus may have fed fishes and loaves to 5000 people.... But hitler made 6 million jews toast."
"how do you tell the difference between an extroverted engineer and an introverted engineer? the extroverted engineer looks at *your* shoes."