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Joke of the Day

"I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him. His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment."

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"What's the difference between a hockey player and a French woman? Hockey players shower after three periods."
"Whats in Olivia Newton's John? Gomer's Pile"
"Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds."
"""WTF IS THIS?!?!"" dad demands as he looks at my report card. I explain to him the idea of schooling and grading systems and he calms down."
"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months."
"I let my blind friend borrow money He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me..."
"Fuuuuck yeah! (shakes pill bottle) Tonight we gonna get completely, totally... (reads label) Antifungal"
"Q: On a scale from 1 to 10, what is your favorite color in the english alphabet? A: Yes"
"What's the opposite of assault? a pepper."