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Joke of the Day

"What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider."

"I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners."

"Oh you have a hard time gaining weight? That's cool. Here, hold this grenade."

"The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn."

"TIL that Hitler never ate cake Apparently all the ovens were already being used."

"What's the difference between OP and a brick? A brick gets laid!"

"My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"Why did MacDonald's ban Tumblr? Because they don't serve Trans-Fats."

"Did you hear about the Buddhist that refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication"