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Joke of the Day

"Maybe I should get married. Its not like I have sex anyway."

"did you know that the earth used to be 100% water? that was until yo momma got thirsty."

"Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed? To catch her false teeth."

"Q. ""Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?"" A. ""So that if the seat falls while they're drinking it won't smack them in the back of the head"""

"A guy walks into a bar -- and sustains a mild concussion."

"Did you hear about that fire at the circus?! I heard it was in tents!"

"So far it's been an, ""I look okay enough to go to Walmart but not to go to Target"" kind of day."

"TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi."

"I used to work in food service, now I work in IT The biggest difference is the phrase ""My server went down on me"" is no longer a good thing."

"What was Hitler's last two words? Oy Vey!"