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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was too tired."
Next Joke
"No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e."
"I didn't text you just to exercise my fingers, I was expecting a reply back..."
"Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home? Because he had too many shots."
"home is where the pants aren't"
"What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together? Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*"
"New years- the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early"
"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""
"My grandfather died peacefully and in his sleep but the kids on his bus were screaming."
"me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*"