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Joke of the Day

"Why is the all-seeing eye the symbol of the occult? Because they want us all under super-vision!"

"My dog got hit by a train today & we found out my brother didn't make parole. Talk about a case of the Mondays!!"

"I do my best when my manager puts a gun to my head."

"Before sliced bread there was no greatest thing."

"What did the heatsink say to the CPU? ""I'm a huge fan!"""

"Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ..."

"my girlfriend must feel the same way about pizza as she feels about sex. if she has it one night, she won't want it again for a few weeks."

"[Couples counseling] ""It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know"" Okay, fine *opens jar of wasps*"

"I'm On the Edge About Masturbation On one hand, it feels great. On the other, I can't feel a thing."

"What's a female lizard's favorite song? ""Girls just iguana have fun""."