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Joke of the Day

"I heard my ex girlfriend needs a new kidney I'm not worried, her body hasn't rejected an organ in 25 years. -Tom Cotter"

"(Cargo pants filled with tater tots) ""How many do I need to get an Xbox?"" ""Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works."" ""FALSE ADVERTISING!"""

"Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand."

"Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all the green cards."

"I met a German girl today. Her phone number is pretty weird, it's all nines."

"Twice the cold doth striketh A dog, a ski cabin, and a leather jacket walk into the electric cloud being and merge into the one true demongod."

"WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM!"

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"Oh my god, killer snails are after us. Walk. Walk for your lives."

"Chemistry joke (not stupid) What's Avogadro's number? 0602211023 i^am^so^funny^why^you^read^this"