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Joke of the Day

"What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? Forget-me-nuts. "

"Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $2.00, but deer nuts are under a buck!"

"My wife's legs are like the peanut butter I left in the fridge. Won't spread."

"My all time favorite lawyer joke. Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW full of lawyers? A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"Oh, you don't like my Lego jokes? BLOCKED HAHA, get it?! *retires*"

"What's sadder than a dying puppy? A black child on father's day"

"Why is Jesus so bad at hockey? Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!"

"I'm at an awkward weight I'm fat enough to not look good with my shirt off, but not fat enough for it to become part of my charm. I'm caught between a rock and a lard place."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or somebody is going to think were nuts."