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Joke of the Day
"I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."
Next Joke
"I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time."
"I run a nonprofit organization that helps keep homeless substance abusers warm during harsh winters. It's called Snuggies for Druggies"
"How do u call a Boomerang that doesnt come back ? a Stick"
"Edgy? You are seriously describing WINE as ""edgy""? Vodka with Xanax and a side of knife fight is edgy. This is Welch's."
"Why should everyone vote for Hillary Clinton? Because Bill said she doesn't suck"
"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was assaulted"
"nsfw Why did the gay have sex with the lesbian? To get back at her girlfriend."
"[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice."
"Getting grey hair hurts less when you say you're sprouting tinsel instead."